When You Don’t See Him for a Month

Relationships are a big challenge, even in the most perfect conditions. You actually have to be able to coexist with another being, take care of each other, have trust and amounts of tolerance never seen before, the will and power to surpass the need to kill the loved one when you’re jealous or when he does that thing you asked him not to do previous 1000 times… Oh, and did I mention love him/her with all your heart and maintain sane while doing so? As one beautiful Instagram post said “Love is unconditional. Love is “I know you’re a fucking psycho maniac, but I’m willing to work with that.” Now that that’s been cleared up add a couple of thousand kilometers between the two of you and you’ll see why long distance relationships are double the fun. 

But when you find that creature who is the exact same kind of a lunatic like you – then it tends to work out quite well. For example when you both don’t mind spending all of your money on having romantic dates all over the world. Or exploring every little corner and taking cute photos for your unique Instagram profile. – Yeah, but, is it enough when you compare it to all of the things you’re missing out on daily basis? HELL YEAH! 

Week 1  

The first week always starts with tears and light depression. When I say “light” I actually mean Depression with huge amounts of Greek Pathos in it, and then you move towards the light at the end of the tunnel. You catch up with your daily life, go out with friends, relive everything that happened to you guys through multiple retellings. Plus you always text each other “Mi manchi, ti amo tantissimo. Remember when we_? Hahaha. Where will we go next?” 

Week 2

Then you tone it down a bit, and you get used to the fact (again) that you’re in a Long Distance Relationship and that you’re not gonna see him for a while. You start talking again like two normal grown-up persons, not like 15-year-olds. You’re two successful adults who keep it together. You’re ok with the fact that you’re both going out, having dinner with friends, going to various events without each other. You’re an emancipated woman who has a career to build, lots of friends, activities. It’s all good. Just another two weeks and you’re physically together again. All is well. Chill.

Week 3

The third week is the time that officially all Hell breaks loose. You forget about all that “emancipated woman” sh*t, especially if your PMS kicks in, and you become a needy little b*tch. You try to act all  cool, but in fact, you’re counting minutes until he texts you: “Ok, NORMALLY he texts me every hour, and it’s been an hour and 1 minute, SOMETHING BAD IS HAPPENING.” You become suspicious of everything. And when I say everything, I mean “Oh so suddenly you’re sleeping in the afternoon?” level of craziness. Of course, you never say/text it because you’re sane enough not to trouble the other person with your psychosis. At least I hope you are. So basically that’s how the third week feels like. It’s a week when all your nightmares come right up in your face to bight you. 

Week 4

The fourth week is a good week. You’ve already lost your mind, plus you’re intoxicated with the happy feeling that in just a couple of days you’re gonna see him. It’s time to make plans! What are you going to wear? When will you wax? Will you buy something new to surprise him? And even though you plan it really good – level ” you pat yourself on your adult back for being such a mastermind” you do it just before the flight. Why? Because you actually have work to do. And you have to write those reports because clients don’t really care about your emotional instability. Oh well. 

A few hours before you see him

Did I pack everything? Maybe I should’ve brought that other dress. I hope he will wait for me at the Arrivals because I don’t have an Internet connection. WHAT IF THEY LOSE MY LUGGAGE? Did I bring my passport? What if the ticket’s not valid? Maybe I bought it for wrong dates. I’m an idiot, you never know.  And the list of questions that don’t concern the fact you will see him in a few hours continues. 

A few minutes before you see him

Ok, THIS IS HAPPENING! I’m finally gonna hug him! And kiss him! YASSSS! I DID IT! Now I’m having a little anxiety attack, but I’m keeping it cool. Ok, there’s the door. Come on, open, open, open. Old lady, MOVE! Where is he? I don’t see him! “Amore!!!!!” 

And then you hear his voice and see his face. Not over a video call but right there in front of you. He hugs you, so hard, and just for a moment – everything stops. Disappears. All of your stupid thoughts, all of the missing, together with insecurities and craziness that’s been giving you a hard time. And you both forget about those challenging four weeks filled with hundreds of video calls and text messages (both sent and unsent). You kiss and go away together into a new adventure like you saw each other just yesterday. When you guys love and care for each other so much, that roller-coaster of emotions in between is just another step you have to make towards paradise. And that paradise is all that really matters.